I’m going to become a hermit…

…And live far away in a land made of music, sunny days spent lounging on the grass, and lemonade by the pool.

Because these things sound like they would make me happy.  In fact, I’ve tried them out in my short lifetime and.. what do you know?  Yup!  They make me happy.   I guess I’m weird like that, I like things that make me happy.  It seems to be an oddity in these parts.  At least, with the people I’ve been coming into contact with lately.

If the Wicked Witch of the West really did have a baby, these people would be the descendants.  They enjoy being miserable.  And not just any miserable, a kind of sadomasochistic miserable.  Pass the cat–o-nine tails!  Hurry!  I feel a happy thought coming on and I must banish such unsavory thinking!

Seriously, all insanity aside: I am about as fed up as a clam at high tide.  I enjoy singing because it makes my day go by faster and it puts me in a better mood.  But these people don’t want to sing.  They don’t even want to know how your day is going unless it’s for ammunition. They want to gossip.  They want to talk about eachother while the other person is standing right there.  Uh, say what?

They want to find out teeny, eensy, bitty details about a person’s life and blow it out of proportion.  I think they keep drama dynamite in their purses for this.  Hide all the boring bits of your life!  They might blow it up!  And not just blow it up, but twist it too.  Make it something worth getting upset about.  That’s the stuff!

As if that weren’t enough, they don’t know how to communicate.  “Oh, did you hear about so and so?  Yeah, they’re having a problem with such and such.”  Ok, why the hell do I care and why aren’t you trying to give the suggestions on their problem? OR “Can you believe I found this?!” Nope, don’t care.. why didn’t you tell someone so we could actually do something about it? Oh wait, I forgot.. you like to be miserable.  And you like everyone else to be miserable too. If you communicated situations before they turned into problems, it wouldn’t give your meager brain anything to do.. you wouldn’t have a life.  MY GOD!  You might have to try to be happy!  The horrors!

Whenever I see these people sitting together, I imagine some wicked witches sitting over a bubbling cauldron.. plotting their next horrible curse on mankind.  That’s the same feeling of dread I get. Yea.. I’m gonna be a hermit and live far away from the evil witches that are plotting the demise of all us happy people.

I think I might need to buy an island..


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