The Stalker

I have a stalker.  His name is Isaac.  He has followed me all over this country and will simply not leave me alone.  Here’s how it began:

I met Isaac in the Gulf Coast, where I was vacationing and trying to soak up some sun.  He quickly tried to stall or outright stop all of my outdoor activities.  There were several days where I even had to board myself up in my time share condo to survive his onslaught of flooding tears.  You see, he doesn’t take rejection well and we had our fun at the bar, drinking lots of cocktails (my favorite, the “hurricane”).  He offered some wonderful sites off the beach and I was able to take some nice pictures of awesome clouds he pointed out to me.  But things went sour quickly.  Isaac has a tendency to ruminate: churning things over and over, round and round.  He simply could not let go.  He was too attached to the heat of our short time together and it was fueling his movements.

I was able to slip out of my time share and made a streak home – the MidWest.  I found out quickly that I was not any better off.  Isaac was quick to change his course and  follow me but he did so . . slowly.  He liked to linger in one place for a few days and send me tear-streaked pictures of the ominous clouds.  Sometimes he would write strange poems on the backs of the pictures that didn’t make much sense – he was just blowing a lot of hot air.

I finally made it back home only to discover that the pictures I was receiving were a direct route to my hometown.  I knew he would be here soon and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.  The friends I talked to said he seemed much less dangerous than other stalkers in the past.  He didn’t try to level my home or anything.

Still, the onslaught of raining tears got to be annoying. . to say the least.  I finally contacted my local emergency services out of sheer panic and they said they had received other complaints about this guy.  It seemed Isaac was a very lonely guy with obviously misplaced romantic enthusiasms.  He had sent a flood of tear-streaked post cards to several women and men alike.  He was a stormy individual and his poems on the backs of most of the postcards simply didn’t make much sense – they used a lot of circular logic that just went round and round.

Isaac finally showed up in my hometown and I expected him to cause nothing but trouble.  My memories of him from the Gulf Coast were a white-haired, grey-eyed man that was a windstorm of energy.  He knocked everything down in his path and consumed people like obstacles.  This energy that was attractive at first, quickly became a problem.  Now, though, he seemed to have lost his “oomph”.  He was lethargic and more weepy than anything.  He flooded us with tears a lot and simply blew a little hot air here and there with some poetry that didn’t make much sense.  A few times he shouted in fits of rage like claps of surprise lightning.. other than that though, we pretty much went on our way just ignoring him.

Finally, he gave up.  All his energy dissipated as the luster from the hot days in the Gulf Coast faded and were replaced with tears.  No one really knows where Isaac went, we’re just glad he’s not here anymore.  And that he didn’t make a bigger mess.



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