Woflie, another WordPress blogger, brought out a very interesting point in his latest post, “Do We Have to Grow Up?” He proposes that more people are opting to not have children because continuing to pursue their own childhood indulgences are just as fulfilling. Forgive me if I misunderstood this, Wolfie. Feel free to correct me 🙂
I’m not debating Wolfie’s stance. Rather, it made me think about the current situation Hubby and I are facing concerning children.
Hubby wants kids. He is awesome with kids. He would be the world’s best father. This makes me feel guilty because I do not share these feelings on such a passionate level. It probably has something to do with me not being male. I find that many males (including my brother, come to think of it) are pressured into having children to continue the family lineage. I can understand this to a point. I can understand that these traditional feelings go back quite a ways and to argue with them is pointless. I know that sometimes people may use this as an excuse when all they really want are grandchildren to spoil. And that’s cool too. I’m not saying this is wrong in anyway. Rather, it’s just not something I, personally, have placed at a high level on my life’s “To-Do” list.
That being said, there really is a biological clock and has it ever been ticking. At first, I was very apprehensive about even wanting to have children. Growing up, I didn’t even want to get married, let alone have kids. Lately, I see little babies and go all googly eyed. I want a little baby to take care of (yes, I know what is involved), a child to watch grow, play, and learn… Then, like a switch, I don’t want kids at all. I really think this is being propelled more by biology’s evolved way of ensuring the survival of the human race.. and traditional notions of those around me. There is nothing wrong with either of these things, I just don’t think that I, myself have strong feelings about wanting children outside of these aspects. Still, having children is on the list.. after getting a house. And a new car.
That being said, I too enjoy many child-like hobbies. I like to play tabletop games (thanks to Hubby for re-igniting this flame), I love to play virtual games, and I am a squeeling girl of delight when it comes to anything to do with yarn. Would I still be able to enjoy these things if I had children? Yes, just not nearly as much. Of course, I would actually knit/crochet more because I would use having children as an excuse to make things. Especially when they were an infant.. can you imagine?! I’d be able to crochet/knit blankets, booties, hats, etc… and no one could complain because it’d all be for the baby! *cue maniacal laughter*
Ahem, seriously. I know many people that still enjoy much of their geekery despite (and sometimes because) of having children. However, when it comes to sexually-oriented or gender-bending geekery.. then things get a little murkier. One has to consider the effects their behaviors will have on the development of the children. I am not saying that everything that fits into these categories is “bad” and will “damage children”. Rather, children should be given a chance to be just that.. children. Without having to worry about the sanity-wrenching politics of our society’s opinions on such activities. And, like Wolfie pointed out, society is starting to lessen their iron grip on some of these opinions. However, I still would choose to stop any such activities if I were to have kids. I would hope to be able to pick them up again at a later time.. but I, myself, would find it difficult to juggle the eye-crossing ins and outs of trying to maintain a sexually-oriented activity while raising kids and keeping them innocent to the hobby.
All that being said, today I don’t want kids. Ask me again tomorrow and I’ll probably want 10.