Tonight was laundry night.. at the laundromat. It was a Sunday night so I figured it would be fairly empty. I figured wrong. The place was packed full. There were just a few washing machines available out of about 20. Soon, there wouldn’t be any available dryers. This would cause tension. Before I get to that..
I didn’t want to go out in the first place. It’s been a windy day and the barometric pressure is changing. This means pain and exhaustion for me and I just wanted to stay on the couch, watching Netflix, and playing Lord of the Rings Online. I wanted to be a hermit. Adulthood brings something called responsibility however, so I had to haul my ass and two laundry baskets out to the Luandromat. I was hoping upon all hopes that the place would be empty. *cross fingers* “Please don’t let there be people… please don’t let there be people..” There were people, there were a lot of people.
I parked and put my big girl panties on. Time to get this over with. I did the usual laundry thing. Grab the bag with soap and quarters in it and scout out a good spot to get started. I found some front-loading washers that were together so I wouldn’t have to go all over the place washing clothes. I squatted my bag ontop of the washers and went back to the car to get my baskets. Fortunately, no one stole my washers while I was gone. I shoved my clothes in the two washers, added quarters, added soap and headed out the door. To the car, where I spent my time until the clothes had finished washing. Why? Because of the people.
To start off, there was Creepy Dude. There’s always a creepy dude at the Laundromat. It’s like a magnet for them.. creepy dude central. I really did not have the willpower to deal with Creepy Dude, so I locked myself in my car and called my mom. After some time I thought that the clothes would be done, I went back into the Laundromat. Apparently, I had mistaken the time on my clothes and my washing machine had been done a couple minutes . And people were crowded around the machine, “talking” about this fact. Yay! Out come my clothes, in go someone else’s and time to find a dryer.
I was lucky. I found two dryers right off and they were on the hotter end. For some reason, our Laundromat’s dryers are hotter on one end. I put the clothes in and headed back out to the car to listen to some NPR. Creepy Dude had left but Drama Bitches were still there. I have to deal with enough of those at work so I opted to leave. Along with them, Dude Who Owns The Place was in there.
DWOTP (Dude Who Owns The Place) was a tall, muscular guy with a crew cut haircut. He walked around like… well you know. He was so sure of himself that he thought he had the magical ability to fix machinery with the single touch of his hand. One of the front loading washers had an “Out of Order” sign on it. DWOTP tore the sign off and shoved his clothes in it. Apparently his powers aren’t as accurate as he would like because the water did not fill the washer, it filled the floor. Hmmm, I guess the seal on the door is broken. Maybe someone should put an “Out of Order” sign… oh wait. Yeah.
I didn’t want a repeat of the washing machine situation, so I went back inside a little early – before my clothes were dry. Good thing too, there were absolutely no dryers open and people were getting antsy. My clothes were still wet so I added more quarters and stood guard. I was standing there when Overly Friendly Lady reached out and touched my shoulder (ugh) and said, “You look familiar.” Ugh. No, I did not go to Jay County High School. No, I was not born in any city in Indiana. No, no, no. OFL was also Lady With No Common Sense as she literally filled a dryer with so many clothes that the door kept popping open and the clothes kept falling on the floor.
This lady continued to try to be friendly with me and start conversations. I did not feel badly about this because there was something “off” about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it right away. She was even friendly with Mad Ogre Lady. MOL had been in the Laundromat before. I had the lucky chance to experience her wonderful personality in the Summertime when she brought her children and then boyfriend with her to do the laundry. I mean that quite literally. They did the laundry while she sat and yelled about how everything they were doing was wrong. She seemed angry and verbally abusive then and nothing seems to have changed in two months. She even started cussing out the way the quarters went into the machines. She was angry at everything. Except OFL, who was being friendly with her. Friendly to the point of taking her own clothes out of a dryer to give to the Ogre. Say what? Hmmm… strange. The two kept talking and it turns out that MOL was proud of her ability to have gotten rid of her boyfriend because he was a “jerk” and there was no way she would marry someone like him. I’m sure it was mutual.
All of this provided me with a great deal of entertainment as I started to fold my clothes. This was interrupted, however, by a murmur that was growing louder. A crowd of people that had been waiting for dryers soon after I had the fortune with my own dryers were now upset because they still hadn’t found any. Meanwhile, some newcomers had found dryers. And one of them was leaving dry clothes in one of the dryers while he stood with his back to the dryer, folding clothes. Some people pointed out that his clothes were done, but he just ignored them. Hell, he was using two carts out of five.. why would he care about the dryer situation. I feared a mob situation so I quickly folded my clothes and got out.
Maybe one day, I will be able to go to the Laundromat alone and not have any incidents. Then again, where would the fun in that be?