I didn’t do Thanksgiving this year. I worked so that I could be sure to have a 40 hour work week, and the double time pay was an added perk. It seems that my focus lately is more on making money than anything else. It has caused a constant level of anxiety that is utterly exhausting. It’s like one of those low level, throbbing headaches that is always in the background. Only this is my nerves and I’m about to crack.
Speaking of money, we have decided to not do Christmas either. We have each other and that’s more than enough for us. There is absolutely no room what so ever for a tree in our tiny apartment. We’re also afraid the cats would destroy it. I had planned on making a Mario themed Christmas tree, but physical and emotional exhaustion has taken over. Maybe next year.
In it’s place, I plan on making a nice garland to hang on the walls and put some ornaments and photos of good times. Reminding myself of all the blessings I have right now will help tremendously. One of those blessings is my hubby. I know, I know. Start the gag fest, she’s getting mushy. People can spend $20 a pop on a book about all kinds of sexual fetishes known the the free (and not so free) world, but don’t start talking about true, romantic intimacy or we’ll all gag!
Well get your rusty spoons out because here it comes.
My husband is awesome. He is actually cooking dinner right now. I told him I was going make a late Thanksgiving dinner of ham steak, mashed potatoes, and greens. I haven’t been feeling well and he has this really sweet nurturing side so he has commandeered the kitchen. Not that I mind one bit.
He also has a habit of getting the most awesome Birthday presents. My birthday was in June and, at that time, I was working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I was tired all of the time and the only chance I got to see my husband was when I rolled over in the middle of the night and noticed him next to me. I didn’t really expect anything for my birthday because I just didn’t have the time or energy to think about it. He put together a wonderful surprise for me that I will never forget nor be able to top :).
I remember coming home and he was waiting in the living room with a kind of “I’ve been up to something” grin. I asked him what was up, he said nothing. He took my hand and led me into the bedroom where he had set up a tabletop easel, a few different types of sketch pads, a pencil kit, and various paints, paintbrushes, and other painting supplies. I was flabbergasted. I talked to him for a few months about wanting to get back into drawing and painting, but didn’t quite know where to start. I now had my where. It was awesome.
On a side note, I have used my paints a few times since then. The exhaustion of work and money has literally drained the life right out of me, so I haven’t been able to use them as often as I would like. I don’t even want to crochet or knit anymore. Who cares if I can make just about anything under the sun? I don’t feel like it right now! I’m in one of my crawl under the blankets and sleep all day kinda moods. The best thing to do when this happens, of course, is to get out from under the blanket and do something. Like knitting, painting, walking, etc. Just anything. It really does not help having grey, cold clouds hovering over the town all day long. Cue the SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I swear that they pay people to come up with these acronyms.
I can see it now. Some overly-perky psychologists are talking about what to name this syndrome that they have discovered. They’re all coming up with scientific names that just don’t “feel right”. How about light deficiency disorder? Naw, that would make too much sense and it just doesn’t roll off the tongue. We need something more perky! Never mind that we’re talking about Depression here or that the sufferers are the ones that truly discovered this damned thing. If only the letters of every first word in the description could spell out something ironic.. like SAD. What could we use to make those letters work? Oh I’ve got it! Seasonal Affective Disorder! You’re so brilliant. *pat on the back*
That’s some gag-fest worthiness right there.
What’s the lesson of this post? Holiday spending is overrated. Spend time with loved ones instead. (This lesson is in there somewhere, I swear it is. I did NOT just pull it out of my ass.)