A Change of Mind

What I should be doing the most and want to do the least right now is to write.  Let me be clear, I love to write.  When I sit down with a plan of writing, I don’t have to come up with much of anything.  It seems as though the ideas just bleed out of my mind through my fingertips.  What could possibly be the problem, then?  I am unemployed.  As one does when they lose their job, I am looking at all possible ways to bring in extra income.  Why not with my writing?

Now that I know I have to write, I don’t want to do it.  This happened when I tried to sell my knitting and crochet, I didn’t want to do it anymore.  It begins to feel as if my very soul (if I ever had one in the first place) is being bled dry.  Whatever Depression I may have felt before I began this adventure in making money through my writing has done nothing but increase because of wanting to make money from writing.  Ah Paradox, you do make life interesting.

 

My idea for overcoming this is to strike down this Depression with the mighty hammer of routine.  Take that!  POW!

My plan, and so far it is just a plan, is to simply take my laptop and get off the couch.  I am going to walk across the block with laptop in tow and spend a few hours each day at the Library, writing.  I have a few online writing classes that I am planning on signing up for as well, to keep things more structured.

Planning is the key word here.  It truly does not matter how much planning I do if I never go through with any of it.  It’s the living and doing that matters and I find that my ideals of both are being challenged on a daily basis.  I am actually glad that I lost my job.  Say what?  Yes, glad that I lost my job.

My job was making me very sick.  Not just the poor air quality, but the poor management and sub par group of people (how dare I judge others based on their lack of education, good manners, and consideration for others!).  At any rate, it was awful.  I am glad to be rid of it but not so happy to struggle to pay bills.  However I do find that I now have different ideas about consumerism, reusing and recycling, and time management.  Living is different now, when one takes out the Almighty Dollar.  It’s kind of liberating.

I digress.  I need to start writing more so I may start posting more short stories or just plain gibberish about my day.  You have been forewarned.

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