What’s Wrong..

..with me?

It’s strange how we always ask ourselves this question when things in life don’t go according to our expectations.  I had this happen recently when attending a social outing.  I felt as though many of the people were ignoring or “snubbing” me.  I felt more comfortable sitting and listening to one or two people talk instead of going around and saying hello to everyone.  In the end, I was full of “what if’s” and “if only’s”.  If only I had gone up and spoken to that person. What if I was like everybody else a little more so I felt more accepted?  What if.. if only.. what if.

Today I realized something: it wasn’t me.  In fact, there wasn’t anyone to blame.  The fact of the matter is that I don’t like talking to a bunch of people. There’s a reason I don’t get out to parties very often, they just don’t seem like a whole lot of fun.  I’m just not the type of person that enjoys being a social butterfly, flitting from one person to the next to say hello and touch base.  I don’t require it and that IS okay.  That’s just me.

It’s also just them.  They happen to like doing that and that’s okay too.  No one was snubbing anyone, we just had different social likes and dislikes.  I also realized that maybe they had certain social expectations I wasn’t fulfilling just as I felt they weren’t fulfilling mine.  Maybe they were actually more like me and expected others to come up to them and initiate something.  That’s just not me.  I’m happy sitting in my chair and absorbing all the interesting conversations going on around me.  It’s like watching TV but far more interesting. And that’s okay.



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