Just take all the seasons in one week and see how you like it, you ungrateful baboons!
Poor Mother Nature, she really is just doing her best. Just consider: it’s Wintertime and we humans are cold and miserable. It’s all a magical winter wonderland until New Year’s is over. Then, BAM!, it’s just a slush fest of digging out your car before work (goodbye sleeping in) and trying desperately to stay warm while you pump your gas. And she listens, she really does. Just like any good mom, she waits to see if we learn what we need to from the situation and then she does something about it.
That’s when “Spring” comes. I think it’s called Spring because it’s like the spring in Tigger’s tail. It’s bouncy, flouncy, fun fun fun fun.. but over in a second. Oh, unless you have allergies. Then it’s just miserable. So you beg some more for change.. and this time she’s frustrated with hearing you complain about the last change so she swings it into Summer right away. And ahh… Those first few weeks are indeed heaven. But then it’s hot, it’s sticky, and it’s just as miserable as Winter. So we complain again..
But she’s fed up by now. She’s tired of us de-evolving apes always complaining that she isn’t doing her job right. She’s going to punish us now so she cranks up the heat. In come the devastating storms, dry spells, and floods.. all in one little season that seems to drag on for an eternity. It’s the equivalent of getting a spanking by Mother Nature. “That’ll teach ya to complain about how I do things!”
Then the remorse sets in.. she starts to wonder if maybe she’s taken things too far. Maybe we’ve learned our lesson by now and a change could be good. Bring in Fall and the wonderment of Halloween, hay rides, and corn mazes. Oh how we love this time of year. But there’s a slight miscommunication. “Oh, I love it now that it’s getting cooler,” we say. “Oooh, I wish it could be more cold so I could be even happier,” she hears. So the thermostats crank up as we try to keep ourselves warm.. but we don’t complain much. We are in the throes of Thanksgiving and Christmas. A magically depressing time of year where you feel all alone and yet blessed with family at the same time.
Rinse and repeat.
We really do have a codependent and dysfunctional relationship with Mother Nature. No wonder she’s getting so pissed off and throwing earthquakes and landslides at us. “Go to your room!” she shouts. “You’re grounded until you learn to appreciate what I do for you!”
That’s a mom for you.