It’s that time again!

No, it’s not Tool Time. It’s sick-o time. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.  For a limited time only (one can hope) you can have all of the symptoms and troubles of the flu. But wait! There’s more! You can also miss work, leading to a smaller paycheck because America doesn’t do paid sick days.

On top of all of this, you will have to hold out for as long as possible before going to the doctor. Why? Well, I’ll tell you. They make sure to ask if this has been going on longer than a week (as if a couple of days of misery is not enough) and that’s only if you have insurance to pay for the visit! Gee America, what a great job you’re doing.

As an added perk, you won’t be able to sleep! Nope, no sleep for you. Your heart will pound, you will pass out a few times, and your day will be spent fighting a throbbing headache. But no sleep! That would just be too gosh-darned simple.

Ah ha ha Influenza, we love you.


*This post is not trademarked in any way, shape or form. Please be sure to contact your doctor if you are experiencing flu-like symptoms. As always, we cannot be held responsible for your actions with our product. This product may cause the same exact symptoms you are already experiencing and we just can’t figure out why you’re still buying it.

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