Spock Mode Activate!

When I was younger… I know. Ugh. “She’s going all the way back to then. Pass the chips, Earl, it’s going to be a long read.”

Seriously, it’s going to be okay. Just hear me out.

Ahem.

When I was younger, my family called me “Ms.Spock”. I was forever saying, “That’s not logical,” to the point that it drove people crazy. I have not lost this gift *cough* annoying habit.

It tends to rear it’s ugly head when I’m browsing my social media feed (I’m looking at you, Facebook!) and I see those sickeningly sweet quotes. You know the ones. They’re in creative fonts and are plastered across pictures of serene fields, or flowers, or laughing children.

presntpastfuture

Because you are a special snowflake.

Ahh, that’s the stuff. Cliched and soppy saying? Check! Serene field and bonus sunset? Double check!

Here’s the thing that immediately pops into my head when I read this: “It takes 80 milliseconds for the human brain to process anything so we are constantly living in the past. This makes no sense.”

That’s it. Not, “Awww, that’s totally on point! We should all make the here-and-now more enjoyable.” Nope.

lifeblessing

The alliteration just killed me. I am totally not stressing anymore, though, since I don’t have a heartbeat. I guess it worked.
Seriously, I guess your catchy and rhyming phrase has totally changed my life. I now see the error of my ways! Oh how wrong I ..

You get the idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have emotional responses to these things.. every now and again. I’m not a total robot.

blessinglife.jpg

Fuck you, buddy. Seriously, just back the fuck off and take your rose-colored glasses with you. No, I don’t want to hear about how I can reach enlightenment. Do you want to hear about how I can make your head reach the ceiling with one kick. No? Buh-bye, then.

I’m not bitter. I swear. Just sick of seeing these memes.

People! Stop with the memes!

dragoncat.jpg

Unless it has cats in it. Cat memes are always acceptable.  It is totally logical.

Thank you and good night.

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Pet Peeves 101

I have a lot of pet peeves, but who doesn’t? I like to try and come up with creative solutions to not only help me cope in these situations, but also to explain to the peeve perpetrator why their behavior is annoying me.

  1. Let me show you the right way to do that.
    know it all
    I hate this mentality. There are many wrong ways to do something and there are many right ways to do something. I like to combat this one with math. Yup, math. I ask the peeve perp, “What’s two plus five?” I get a weird look and a slow, drawn out answer. “What’s three plus four?” A quicker answer. “What’s nine minus two?” A smartass answer. “You just did that problem three different ways and got the same answer. There is no one right way, there are just different ways.”
  2. “If they want to come to our country, they should at least speak the language.”
    ellis
    I really hate bigotry, and this is just another form of it. I like to use this chance to showcase my very limited knowledge of another language. “Como?” or “Pourquoi?” I get a confused look and they ask me what I just said. “Learn to speak another language before you put someone else down for not being able to do so. It’s not simple and they may not be here for their own convenience.” Et cetera. I might lecture at length based on how much of a bigot they are. I tend to get on my soap box when this one happens. I try to remind this person that America is a country based on both stealing and murdering the people who were originally here as well as taking in immigrants from other countries.
  3. “Poor people should just work hard to get more money.”
    poor
    Ugh. Having been on both sides of poor before, I know both mentalities. This is just another example of holding onto a misconceived opinion in order to feel in control about one’s surroundings and circumstances. I tend to ask questions like, “What would happen if your house burned down?” “I have insurance for that.” “Does it prevent the house from burning down?” “No, but it will pay me.” “Does that replace all the memories and things lost?” “No.” “You may be able to plan for the future, but you can’t prevent things from happening. There are people who do not choose to be poor, they were born into or are facing circumstances they cannot control.” This really only works on people who aren’t bull headed. If someone has the mentality of “sucks to be them”, then there’s really no getting through to them.
  4. Gossip.
    Blah blah blah

    I hate gossip. I’ve been guilty of it myself, but I always regret it immediately. Whenever I feel those strings pulling at me to open my mouth and try to bond with someone by degrading another individual, I think about how that person would feel if they were standing there listening. Not everyone does this, however. I usually just walk up to two people who are gossiping and ask, “Is it gossip time?” Mouths drop, looks get exchanged. “I can’t believe you just said that.” “Well, I’m sure you’ll talk about it as soon as I’m out of ear shot.”
    OR
    “You’d make a lousy housekeeper, Mr.Gossip.” “Oh, why’s that?” “Because a Housekeeper is expected to keep their ears open, and their mouths shut.” I usually follow this up with my own personal experience as a Housekeeper (How people forget you are there or say things to you that you wouldn’t normally hear. With keys to locked up places so you can clean at night, you walk in on things and have to apologize and never tell anyone.)

  5. I can’t tell if that person is a man or a woman.
    trans
    “If you’re interested, ask them out. Otherwise, it’s none of your business.” *Please don’t get all worked up about it not being their business anyways. I agree, it’s nobody’s business what’s between your legs, who you’d rather sleep with, and why you are or aren’t attracted to whomever you are. BUT, the point gets across to them better when phrased this way. I’m basically saying that if they aren’t positively interested in this person, shut up – I don’t want to hear their negativity.*
    Another way would be to say, “I don’t know, why don’t you go ask them?” They will usually snort and say they couldn’t do that, it would be rude. To which I ask, “What do you call what you’re doing now?”
  6. Making jokes in non-jokey situations has always been a peeve of mine. It’s strange, then, that I married someone who does just this. I don’t try to combat this one. This is the other person’s way of coping with a difficult situation and it’s not my place to take that away from them. When someone does this, I acknowledge that they are feeling out of control of something and tend to politely ask if we can talk about it in seriousness.

That’s all for Pet Peeve 101, today. I’m sure there will be more. If your peeve is having someone talk about their peeves, I guess you need chocolate right now.

Sick and..

fed up.  Beware: This post is a bit “soap boxy” and may be misconstrued as “snobby” (as I am often told I am.. shocker).

Hubby and I are both sick with some mysterious virus.  I get sick all the time.. in fact, I think that I spend more days a year sick than not.  Hubby, on the other hand, gets sick maybe two days each year.. or every two years.  Because of this, he tends to get very sick and have to miss work when he does actually catch something.  I have been able to trudge through work the past three days, but only because my body is accustomed to this on a regular basis.

That being said, I was not feeling well at work today.  The plan was to drink fluids that my stomach would keep down and pretty much do as little as possible.  Moving around really caused the nausea to get worse.  I, nor my coworkers, are psychic so they were not aware of why I was in such a foul and peculiar state of mind.  This is not an excuse for their behavior, but it is probably why I was such an easy target today.

Today, I learned that I do not work at a factory.. I work at a daycare.  You may be saying, “but all factories are like that.”  Indeed, they are not.  It is frustrating for me to deal with people who think foolish and outright stupid things are amusing, that they know everything there is to know and are entitled to some special treatment because of that misconception, and that everything I say must have a sexual connotation and be meant as some kind of come on.  Um, no.

I am not only sick and tired from being, well sick.. but I am quite fed up with being as personable as I can/want to be with everyone around me and working hard to treat everyone with a base line of respect at the very least – only to discover that hardly anyone else has such intentions.  Not only is this true at work, but I am finding this attitude to be more prevalent as of late in the city itself.  It seems as though many people believe self-esteem equates comparing yourself to others in a way that leaves the other person in a negative aspect.

IE: In order to make myself feel good, I have to put you down in ways that are unrealistic and irrelevant.

Cue screaming.  Hubby and I are looking to relocate because the attitudes are so severely.. poor.  I know I will probably receive defensive backlash from this, but I find that the majority of people who enjoy this area are those that enjoy the benefits of living in a nepotistic society.  Count me out of that if you please.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must end my evening with a fine Brandy and some Beethoven (joking).  I’m lucky if I get to do anything to relax before sleep 😛 .

Opinion Time (aka Soapbox Time)

Alrighty, let me just get my little pedestal in place before I start ranting.  There.

First of all, I am so tired of hearing about Chick-Fil-A.  There are various aspects to this, such as how often does this happen without getting as much media coverage?  Again, if the media hadn’t blown it up to begin with, would it have gotten this far?  Also, it brings us back to the whole Christians who worship a God that teaches tolerance and love to all.. not really doing that.  As one of my friends pointed out, replace “Gay” with “Black” and this is 1960.  Secondly, who the hell cares how two people have sex?  Why is it such a big deal if people of the same gender want their rights recognized?  Hello!  In the Bible they did things like trade women into marriage for other property, marry at a young age, make the brother of the widow’s husband marry her.. etc..  We don’t do those things anymore, why can’t we accept this one?  Oh wait, it goes back to prejudice and intergroups.  Don’t want to have a stronger group uprising against the White, Middle-Aged, Middle Class.  Because those are the people I see complaining about this whole fiasco.  Ugh.

This type of mentality is why Romney is so popular these days.  He is backed by the upperclass white.  This will be his downfall when voting time comes around.  He’s not relatable.  When I watch the broadcasts of his speeches, his audience is a sea of white, older faces that are auspiciously dressed.  Shocker.  When I watch Obama speak, the audience is multi-colored, multi-aged, and multi-classed.  He’s relatable.  As much as the American people don’t like the fact that Obama can’t wave a magic wand and fix everything wrong with this country (that the people are causing by the way), they dislike Romney more.

As for that magic wand, let’s take a closer look.  Perhaps things would not be so bad financially if.. oh wait, I know it is easy to look back and reprimand.  The thing is, I’m guilty of it too.  I had to learn my lesson.  Don’t buy things you can’t afford.  It is that simple.  If we as a country did that, I think it would help to solve a lot of issues.  I am not saying it is the magic pill, I’m saying it would definitely help.  Another few things that would help?  Getting rid of career politicians with life-long cadillac insurance and retirement plans.  Getting rid of archaic Government programs that were designed to assist the soldiers and their families from wars from almost a century ago.  Stop putting them into law!  We can’t afford them.  It’s time to restructure and develop a new system that truly addresses the issue, doesn’t just get you re-elected.

Last rant-o-da-day, have you watched the news lately?  I got news for you, it ain’t news.  I’d like some good, old-fashioned information.  Not this hyped up, jacked up, make believe world story crap that is designed to cause drama and not inform.  Mike Wallace and Peter Jennings are turning in their graves.

Okay, I’m done. Thank you for listening, you’re a great audience!  Have a good night.  Don’t forget to vote for.. oh wait.

I’m going to become a hermit…

…And live far away in a land made of music, sunny days spent lounging on the grass, and lemonade by the pool.

Because these things sound like they would make me happy.  In fact, I’ve tried them out in my short lifetime and.. what do you know?  Yup!  They make me happy.   I guess I’m weird like that, I like things that make me happy.  It seems to be an oddity in these parts.  At least, with the people I’ve been coming into contact with lately.

If the Wicked Witch of the West really did have a baby, these people would be the descendants.  They enjoy being miserable.  And not just any miserable, a kind of sadomasochistic miserable.  Pass the cat–o-nine tails!  Hurry!  I feel a happy thought coming on and I must banish such unsavory thinking!

Seriously, all insanity aside: I am about as fed up as a clam at high tide.  I enjoy singing because it makes my day go by faster and it puts me in a better mood.  But these people don’t want to sing.  They don’t even want to know how your day is going unless it’s for ammunition. They want to gossip.  They want to talk about eachother while the other person is standing right there.  Uh, say what?

They want to find out teeny, eensy, bitty details about a person’s life and blow it out of proportion.  I think they keep drama dynamite in their purses for this.  Hide all the boring bits of your life!  They might blow it up!  And not just blow it up, but twist it too.  Make it something worth getting upset about.  That’s the stuff!

As if that weren’t enough, they don’t know how to communicate.  “Oh, did you hear about so and so?  Yeah, they’re having a problem with such and such.”  Ok, why the hell do I care and why aren’t you trying to give the suggestions on their problem? OR “Can you believe I found this?!” Nope, don’t care.. why didn’t you tell someone so we could actually do something about it? Oh wait, I forgot.. you like to be miserable.  And you like everyone else to be miserable too. If you communicated situations before they turned into problems, it wouldn’t give your meager brain anything to do.. you wouldn’t have a life.  MY GOD!  You might have to try to be happy!  The horrors!

Whenever I see these people sitting together, I imagine some wicked witches sitting over a bubbling cauldron.. plotting their next horrible curse on mankind.  That’s the same feeling of dread I get. Yea.. I’m gonna be a hermit and live far away from the evil witches that are plotting the demise of all us happy people.

I think I might need to buy an island..

He was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin..

Okay, I’m not purple and I definitely don’t eat people.  But I certainly don’t seem to be getting along with them lately either.

Them?  Really?  Makes me feel like I’ve said something racist or sexist.  I guess I do have a bias against the majority of people.  I have a natural instinct to push them away while still wanting contact and intimacy.  Make up your mind, woman!

There was this great picture I saw years ago done up in the 1970’s pulp fiction style.  It was a woman pointing a gun and the title said “How dare you love me!”  Yea, I feel like that a lot lately.  How dare you people put forth the effort to try to get close to me.  I’ll show you!

I’m not sure if it’s my allergies, stress, or a combination of a lot of things.  But I just don’t want to be around “THEM”.. and yet I do.  I want to share opinions, laugh at stories, and have fun.  And yet..

I find myself getting frustrated with THEIR opinions and perceptions.  How can they think that way? Jeez.. what’s wrong with THEM?  Yea, I know the problem is with me actually.  I’m being all controlling again. Shocker.  Me? Controlling? Get outta here..

But still.. I’d like to know, is there anyone out there that doesn’t drive me absolutely crazy?  That doesn’t make my skin crawl with annoyance?  Or should I think about overdosing on some chocolate and funny movies right about now?

Maybe I need more sleep.  Maybe I need an attitude adjustment.  Yup, I’ll just flip my lid and turn the dial, there attitude all adjusted.  It was that easy!

So many things come to mind when I think about “adjusting my attitude”.  Changing diet, regulating sleep, and exercising more to help my body feel better.  If I’m already feeling crappy, how am I ever going to get motivated to schedule and organize all that?  Bah.. self-defeatist procrastination alert!

Then I swing into the opposite extreme.  I am Wonder Woman!  I can plan and schedule and anything is possible!  I become talkative and a real people person because I am ontop of the world.  And then it crashes.  Something happens that I can’t control with all my scheduling and organizing.  Ahh, back to THEM.

I need to get off this carousel.